Safe guard your marriage against divorce!

It is NEVER too early to start protecting your marriage against divorce. We talked about just a few ways in class. We should anticipate and address issues together, not letting things get out of hand. If there is some tension about fiances, talk about it and if need find help. Never stop dating, keep getting to know each other. Love and cleave unto you spouse. Don't even think about divorce, don't let it be an option. Never threaten you spouse by throwing that word out there. I believe that true repentance is the cure for divorce (along with charity and humility!)

Parenting

I have really enjoyed going over different parenting styles, and the best way to communicate and discipline children especially teens. I know it will be difficult raising strong willed teens during a time when the family is already being attacked. We talked about and learned so many great skills to use. Such as reflective listening. Sitting down with your teen and talking with them, not lecturing or giving advice. Truly trying to understand them is so important. Respecting them is also key. Teenagers are children of God and deserve just as much respect as we do. Teens need choices within a certain limit. Parents should never become dictators. As parents our responsibility is to nurture courage, responsibility, respect, and cooperation in our children.

One for the $$$!

All I have to say is Amen to this pamphlet. Elder Ashton sums up finances so well in this book! I know that if we sincerely heed to all of the points he gives we will not have money issues. Let me give you his 12 key points: 

1. PAY AN HONEST TITHING
2. LEARN TO MANAGE MONEY BEFORE IT MANAGES YOU
3. LEARN SELF-DISCIPLINE AND SELF-RESTRAINT IN MONEY MATTERS
4. USE A BUDGET
5. TEACH FAMILY MEMBERS EARLY THE IMPORTANCE OF WORKING AND EARNING
6. TEACH CHILDREN TO MAKE MONEY DECISIONS IN KEEPING WITH THEIR CAPACITIES TO COMPREHEND
7. TEACH EACH FAMILY MEMBER TO CONTRIBUTE TO THE TOTAL FAMILY WELFARE
8. MAKE EDUCATION A CONTINUING PROCESS 
9. WORK TOWARD HOME OWNERSHIP
10. APPROPRIATELY INVOLVE YOURSELF IN AN INSURANCE PROGRAM
11. UNDERSTAND THE INFLUENCE OF EXTERNAL FORCES ON FAMILY FINANCES AND INVESTMENT
12. APPROPRIATELY INVOLVE YOURSELF IN A FOOD STORAGE AND EMERGENCY PREPAREDNESS PROGRAM

If you wish to learn more the entire pamphlet is online http://providentliving.org/pfw/multimedia/files/pfw/pdf/6998_OneForTheMoney33293_pdf.pdf
Enjoy!

Communication, it is just our words?

Apparently not! Our words only make up about 7% of what we say. Meaning how we say it and the non-verbal cues we give are so much more important! This really makes me think twice about what I am really communicating to those around me. Especially since a lot of out communicating is done "virtually" over text, facebook, even this blog. All you can see are the words I type, you can't hear the tone in which I am writing nor can you see any non-verbal gestures. I want to avoid making this kind of communication my main medium of talking with people. I think we should try to remain as personable as we can. Talking to people one on one, and having eye contact, these are all so important. Traits I'm worried will become extinct if we stay behind our computer screens and cell phones. 

Family Crisis

I guess I have never really thought about how I or my family handles a crisis, we just do. I think it's safe to say that most people just take things as the come especially crises. I mean you hardly have time to sit and think "uh this is an urgent problem, how am I going to deal with this". Life keeps going whether your in a good spot or not. I really like the chart in our text book that explained the types of stressor: Internal (starts within the family) or External (outside sources cause the stress), Normative (normal stressors that happen to most people i.e. marriage, raising children) or Nonnormitive( unexpected events like divorce, or war), Ambiguous (unclear about what is causing the tension in the home) or Nonabiguous (there are clear facts and events), Volitional (freely chosen events school, a job, starting a family) or Nonvolitional (things that are not sought out like being laid off), Chronic (long term like cancer) or Acute ( short things like failing a test), Cumulative (things building on each other making things worse) or Isolated (one very specific event)

I've learned that even though everyone goes through trials and crises, it's our attitude that really matters. A family can go through the exact same stressor but they can each take it SO differently. I know it can be hard but I think we should look for opportunities to strength our family in times of stress instead of pulling apart. 

Affairs of the Heart

This week we discussed different aspects of marriage. On of which was infidelity. I learned that there are actually 4 types of affairs. 

1. Fantasy affairs- these are emotional but detached. This is when people have lustful thought of others without them even knowing. Like a celebrity for example someone you will probably never meet but that you have inappropriate thoughts about. 
2. Visual affair/ pornography- these affairs are physical but detached. People who watch pornography usually do it to get their body aroused but don't actually have an attachment to who or what they are watching
3. Romantic affairs- are emotional and attached. This is when a spouse starts becoming emotionally attached to someone other than their spouse. 
4.  Sexual affairs- occurs when a person engages in sexual acts outside the bonds of marriage with or without emotional attachment

It is extremely important to avoid any type of infidelity. We should cleave to our spouse and NONE else. We shouldn't even engage is close friendships with the opposite sex without our spouse being present.

Here is a little clip about emotional affairs and how easy it can start.

Wedding Ceremony Vs. Marriage